I had dinner with my confidant this evening. I call her my confidant because that’s what she really is. We met at my previous workplace, and she’s more than just a great, lovely friend. I tell her everything, she’s always the first or second-first – sometimes the only – person I speak of my hopes and fears. 

I knew she was even more introverted than I am the first time I was introduced to her, it was our love of fags that brought us together – I still remember replying her self-introductory email on her first day at work that if she fancied a smoke, she could count on me. But it wasn’t until a year or so later that we really ‘connected’. 

I made a boo-boo at work and was overwhelmed with remorse. So frustrated I was with myself for unforgivable oversight that I started crying while smoking with her in the stairwell. She kissed my head, said it broke her heart to see me beating myself up like that, and promised to do whatever she could to help me fix it, even if it meant slightly crossing the line of work ethic. She said that’s what friends are for. You may call it a cheesy line, but the way she said it and the way she walks her talk still is one of the best things I’ve heard from anyone. 

And then something happened in her life. It was some heartbreaking, demoralising times and my heart ached for her. We hugged it out. That was all that I could offer. For so long I just wanted to hug it out as best as I could, so that she could see the silver lining sooner. 

When my mum was in hospital last summer, she was the first one I called after my husband. She asked no question about coming to visit ‘auntie’ except whether I thought it was appropriate. 

She’s like my sister. She watches out for me and I do her, she defends for me when she senses I’m being treated unfairly, just like a loving sister would. We don’t meet up often enough after I left the company, but time is never enough when we do get to meet up, and the few hours we have each other to ourselves are easily the best thing that could happen to us in a long, long time.